Guide for Your First Physical Meeting

Meeting someone in person for the first time can be exciting and a bit nerve-wracking. Here's a comprehensive guide to help you prepare for a safe and enjoyable first meeting.

Preparing for the Meeting

• Choose a Location Where You Feel Safe: Select a place that makes you feel comfortable and secure. This could be a familiar spot or a location known for being safe.
• Inform a Friend or Family Member: Let someone you trust know where you're going, who you're meeting, and what time you expect to return. Share any relevant details about the person you're meeting.
• Plan Your Transportation: Arrange your own transportation to and from the meeting place. This gives you the flexibility to leave whenever you want.
• Dress Comfortably: Wear something that makes you feel confident and comfortable. You want to look your best, but also feel at ease.
• Bring Your Phone: Make sure your phone is fully charged and with you at all times. You never know when you might need to make a call or send a message.

Questions to Ask Before Meeting in Person

• What are your interests and hobbies?: This can help you find common ground and topics to discuss during the meeting.
• What do you enjoy doing in your free time?: This can give you an idea of their personality and lifestyle.
• What are you looking for in this meeting?: Discuss expectations to ensure you're both on the same page.
• What is your preferred meeting location?: Suggest a few public places and see if they have any preferences.
• What time works best for you?: Coordinate a time that is convenient for both of you.
• Do you have any rare illnesses or infectious diseases I should be aware of?: This is crucial for your health and safety, especially if you have a compromised immune system or other health concerns.
• Do you have any allergies I should be aware of?: This is important for choosing a meeting place and ensuring your safety and comfort.
• Do you smoke, use drugs, or drink alcohol?: Understanding their habits can help you assess compatibility and potential deal-breakers.
• How often do you engage in these activities?: Follow up to gauge the frequency and importance of these habits in their life.
• Are you comfortable meeting in a non-smoking area?: This can help you determine if their habits will impact your meeting environment.
• What is your general approach to safety and privacy?: Understanding their views on safety and privacy can help you feel more secure.
• Do you have any pets?: This can give you insight into their lifestyle and responsibilities.
• What are your deal-breakers in a relationship?: Knowing their deal-breakers can help you understand their boundaries and expectations.
• How do you handle conflicts or disagreements?: This can give you an idea of their communication style and conflict resolution skills.
• What are your long-term goals and aspirations?: Understanding their future plans can help you assess compatibility.

Safe Meeting Tips

• Prioritize Your Comfort and Safety: Choose a location that makes you feel both comfortable and safe. If you prefer a lively atmosphere, opt for a busy cafe or restaurant. If you prefer a quieter setting, consider a public place with some people around, like a library or a museum.
• Arrive Early: Get to the meeting place a few minutes early to scope out the area and feel comfortable.
• Do Not Pre-Purchase or Pre-Pay: Avoid buying tickets, gifts, or making any payments before you have met and identified the other person in a safe setting. Unfortunately, the world is full of scams.
• Stay Sober: Avoid excessive alcohol or drugs that can impair your judgment and awareness.

Recognizing Possible Signals of Danger

• Pushiness: If the person is trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
• Aggressive Behavior: Any form of aggression or disrespect should be a red flag.
• Asking for Personal Information: Be wary if they ask for sensitive information like your home address or financial details.
• Excessive Compliments or Flattery: Be cautious of overly flattering comments, as they can be a tactic to gain your trust quickly.
• Pressure to Meet Quickly: If they pressure you to meet in person before you're ready, it could be a sign of impatience or ulterior motives.

Preventing Frauds and Risks

• Meet in Stages: Consider meeting in stages. You could start with a brief, public meeting and gradually build trust over time.
• Keep Personal Information to a Minimum: Avoid sharing sensitive information like your home address or financial details until you feel comfortable.
• Be Cautious of Requests for Money or Gifts: Be wary of any requests for money, gifts, or financial assistance. Legitimate individuals will not ask for money before meeting you.
• Use a Safe Word or Phrase: Agree on a safe word or phrase with a friend or family member that you can use if you feel uncomfortable during the meeting.
• Stay in Public View: Ensure that you are always in a public area where you can find help from others. If you have any doubts or feel unsure, avoid meeting in secluded locations.
• Have an Exit Plan: Know how you will leave the meeting if you feel uncomfortable. Have a plan for getting home safely.
• Be Wary of Emotional Manipulation: Be cautious of attempts to make you feel guilty for not complying with their requests.
• Avoid Giving Gifts or Buying Items: Be cautious about giving gifts or buying items for the other person, especially during the first few meetings. They could exploit the meetings to get free gifts, shopping, or other benefits. Focus on getting to know each other in a safe and neutral environment.

During the Meeting

• Stay Alert: Be aware of your surroundings and pay attention to how you feel throughout the meeting.
• Keep Conversations Light: Focus on getting to know each other in a casual and non-intrusive way. Avoid deep or personal topics until you feel more comfortable.
• Be Honest: If you feel uncomfortable or unsure, be honest about your feelings. It's better to be upfront than to risk your safety.
• Avoid Prejudices: Try not to form prejudices towards the other person based on initial sensations, attitude, or non-verbal communication. Give them a chance to show their true self over time.

Places to Consider for the First Meeting

• Consider Privacy and Security: Wherever you choose to meet, keep in mind the possibility that a complete stranger, a potentially untrusted person, or even someone with malicious intent could access and potentially share your preferences related to the meeting place (such as your shopping habits). Be cautious about sharing detailed information about your favorite spots or personal preferences until you have built trust.
• Coffee Shop: A great place for a first meeting. It's casual, and you can easily leave if you feel uncomfortable.
• Museum or Art Gallery: These places offer a neutral environment and plenty to talk about. Examples include local museums, art galleries, or cultural centers.
• Public Park: During the day in areas that feel safe and comfortable. Examples include city parks, botanical gardens, or community green spaces.
• Shopping Mall: A well-lit and familiar environment. Examples include large shopping centers, outlet malls, or local markets.
• Public Library: A quiet but public setting. Examples include local libraries or community centers.
• Community Event: Attend a local event or festival where there are activities to enjoy together.

By following these guidelines, you can ensure a safe and enjoyable first meeting. Good luck!